C-ute Continues Their Lackluster Stage As Tsunku Trolls Hard

Oh, man. 2014 has yet to show any promise when it comes to Hello! Project… and my blogging. Everything other than those two has interested me so far this year. I don’t know guys, this is looking like a bad sign. Anyway, just recently, C-ute released their latest(yep, another double a-side), Kokoro no Sakebi wo Uta ni Shitemeta / Love take it all, this past Wednesday. From the snippets I’ve already seen, looks like more of a snoozefest…

Hey! Mannequins! Remember that idea from the first RoboMusume single? Remember how we were all super mesmerized by it and wondered why UFP didn’t take it any further? Hey, maybe C-ute can do something with it! Wait, Airi did you just blink, orrr…?

Okay, where do I begin. Let’s talk about the cinematography first. This video lacked in that department. I’m guessing the editors wanted something a little more interesting to look at so they decided to add color overlays and “old-time filters,” but it really did not work, in my opinion. It was actually very distracting and didn’t mix well with the pastel, soft feel of the video. I would have much preferred the video without it. Other than the tacky overlays, there isn’t anything particularly striking about the video. It’s basically Campus Life but with an older C-ute.

Other than the outdoorsy scenes, all we’re left with is the dance-shot. It’s a little confusing, actually. Are they on display? Are they in a box? Are they just floating in a blue abyss? It’s a little odd even though I do like the stripes and bright lights. The dance itself is barely shown, but it looks like your average idol number–nothing really out of the ordinary here. Sadly, the mannequin idea was hardly incorporated, but when it was, it did look pretty cool. The girls paused their dancing in order to return to their mannequin state. I just can’t figure out if that actually has anything to do with the song. The outfits are pretty, but overall boring. Again, nobody really stuns me with any new-found beauty, honestly. Although, I’d love to steal Mai’s outfit.

The song is so un-C-ute-like and unfit for a single lead. Really, was this just some song they borrowed from Berryz Koubou’s upcoming album? The whole time I watched the video, I could only imagine Berryz. To me, this song is so much more suitable for the girls of Berryz versus the girls of C-ute. Not to mention, at times, it reminded me of Crayon Pop’s Bar Bar Bar. I totally expected them to just be like, “JUMPING YEAH JUMPING YEAH, EVERYBODY~!”

Come on, C-ute. You’re better than this…

Alright. If you thought it could get better, you were wrong. Why did I even bother hoping?

So this whole video has a cheesy 80’s detective show feel. There’s weird slow-motion shots and enough blurry, low quality to go around. Not to mention, the song perfectly captures the outdated look of the video. I feel like I was watching a Speed Racer montage… They seriously couldn’t think of anything more creative than high-beams in the background? And these costumes. Berryz must have had some left-over material from their Diet song. Not only do they look cheap, but they also look uncomfortable to dance in. Those jackets just made the whole dance look terribly awkward. If they would have just thrown those jackets away and left the bandeau bras they had on underneath, I–along with the rest of the wotadom–would have totally been fine with that. Yeah, speaking of that dance, bleh. I think every choreographer for every group has had their pay cut, so in return, they create bogus dances. I mean, it was nice during some parts, but then it just turned into a bunch of gang signs. Oh, let me not forget the “solo dances.” Those were painful to watch.

Goddammit, H!P. Can you do anything right this year? This whole single sounds like it belongs in 2009.

Here, take some covers because they’re the most interesting part of this friggin’ single.

Now that my frustrations have been alleviated, let’s talk about something that doesn’t want to make me rip my eyebrows off: Berryz Koubou’s 10th anniversary!

You should know that the girls of Berryz have been together since 2001, but the formation of Berryz Koubou didn’t come by until 2004. At that time, there were 8 of them, including the only member to ever graduate: Maiha Ishimura. However, Maiha had a hard time adjusting to the idol life and decided to call it quits in late 2005.

Since 2004, these fantastic girls under the name of Berryz Koubou have become the toughest group to crack. There isn’t much that the girls haven’t tried.

Adorable 50’s pop one-hit wonders…

Empowering Mongolian emperors…

Dancing monkeys!

Office superheroes…

Just plain superheroes…

And uh, really lame superheroes…

Thai princesses!

And now… Adults.

They’ve grown so much, that it’s clear to see even in their stage presences as well as their appearances. Tsunku decided to almost ruin everything with his speech:

It’s the 3rd of March.
Today marks a whole 10 years, entering into your 11th year.
Congratulations on your 10th anniversary.
Well of course, Morning Musume is about 16 or 17, and that kind of history is amazing.
But, they have had member changes.
Of course, although the number of people in Berryz Kobo has decreased, there were no new members who joined, so fundamentally it’s all been done by the same members, and I think that’s something really amazing.
With that, let me tell you something just as amazing!
From now on, since these members have been doing everything…
I think that gradually…
From here on…
For Berryz Kobo, new member applications…
Will not be done, [Momo: Oh Tsunku♂-san, stop it with the Osakan jokes, there’s no need for that kind of thing]
So I think I’d like the members to be filled with spirit and take a new step.
To be honest, for a group of girls in the puberty ~ lovestruck phase continued doing activities collectively as a group for 10 years, I think you also did it giving a vibe of, “Let’s have a fight!”
I’ve heard this comment countless times so far, that it’s generally thought that you can work for at most 4 years as an ‘idol.’
To exceed that is truly amazing.
In my capacity as a producer it’s normal to give all sorts of instructions, and on that point, I really respect you guys.
I’m sure that all the fans understand that as well.
Therefore despite it being a weekday today, such a great number of people … (though I won’t ask how you skipped work…) have gathered here.
Aiming for an Oricon 1st this year, let’s make this wonderful Berryz Kobo-like seed ripen stylishly!
Well then, good luck.

Goddamn troll. Do you see how upset the girls got when he mentioned new members? I think these girls have some of the strongest chemistry ever in Hello! Project history. They spent basically their whole childhood with each other that they’re all pretty much sisters. Seeing them just makes me happy.

I think a piece of me will die inside when the group is done.

tsunku_flower

I wish you the best of luck in your time of illness, King Troll.

3 thoughts on “C-ute Continues Their Lackluster Stage As Tsunku Trolls Hard

  1. Pingback: Recommended Jpop♀ Reading: March 9, 2014 | Idolminded

  2. This is why, of the small handful of idols I truly adore, Momo will always be my kami-oshi — not only is she exceptionally lovely (when wearing a normal hairdo), supremely talented, and sharp as a whip, but Tsugunaga-sensei is probably THE ONLY idol in all of J-Pop utterly fearless enough to reprimand a trolling Tsunku to his face, live onstage.

    Her self-confidence is what makes her invincible.

    ::swoon::

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